| Finally! |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|11:31 am] |
Yes I finally have my own computer thats online! Now I don't have to fight with my brother or sister mahahahhahaha. I not only have freedom of the computer but freedom of the road^^ this must have been one of the good weeks for me... with the draw back of yesterday's incident.>.> |
|
|
| Sick & continuation of the story |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|05:28 pm] |
Well I think I have the worst luck right now... First I go and fuck up my hand and now I'm sick with either a throat infection or my same old caughing to death sickness.>_> Anyways no one wants to hear that to the story!
Makie grabs her bag from under the table while still laying there on the ground where her mother left her. "Goddamn witch!" she muttered to herself as she got up to head for the door. As she was about to open the door to leave she gets pedded in the back of the head with a bento box by her mother.
"Get going!" The old woman yelled as she closed the kitchen door to evade Makie's counter attack that never came. This was due to being nocked into a body at the front door. She looked up embrassed to she her best friends Tanaka-kun and Yuria-chan.
Tanaka-kun had been Makie's best friend ever since shuugaku and were lucky to be in the same class all the way and even now. He looked like pretty weak person but had a strong head for thinking things out. This helped him out think the guys of the lacross team everytime they needed money for lunch. He had think frame glasses and sorta emo hair with long sleve shirt and pants. He often carries around his laptop but keeps it hidden from the public in his school bag.
Yuria-chan on the other hand was dressed a bit more lively than the other two. She had short dark hair with a ponytail off set on one side of her head. She was dressed in a school uniform that wasn't mandtory to wear at their school anymore. But she felt it was her job to be the role model for her friends. |
|
|
| New Idea |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|05:23 pm] |
She slowly opened her eyes as the sun shined lightly on her face through her window. She rounded over from the lack of sleep from studying her mystical creatures book, which lay next to her on her bed still open saving her spot. Around her were other books in neat stacks next to her bed. At her desk, at the far right corner of her room, there were sketches of weird looking creatures scattered everywhere and penicals laying in their earser scraps. On the other side of the room stood two large book cases filled with creature books and mythical storys.
"Makie-chan! Breakfast is ready and Otousan needs to head to work. Hurry!" yelled Makie's mother from the base of the stairs. But Makie made no motion toward getting out of bed but instead continued reading from her marked spot. She was in the middle of how to defeat a water kappa if it were to cause you problems. But not long later was she interupted by her mother, who guessed that she was reading again, and was dragged down stairs by her hair.
When she arrived from in the kitchen she was warmly greeted by the smell of chilled udon, tenpura, and fresh tea. In the middle of the kitchen stood a small dinning table at which her father sat with his back to the door where she entered. He turned to face her and smiled at her.
"About time you got here. Do you need me to take you to school?" He chuckled at the site of his wife pulling his daughter in by the hair. But Makie simply bowed in shame and shook her head and sat down at the table. "Well I guess I don't need to wait around her anymore... oh and by the way Happy Birthday." He hands her a small box covered with colorful rice paper. After she took it he stood up and smiled at his daughter and left for his car.
After breakfast Makie head back to her room with her wrapped gift in her hands. After closing the door and putting her gift on her desk she picked up her book and continued to read as she got ready for school. Dispite being a mystical creature book freak, Makie looked like a very social girl. She had the body of an athelete and was extreme pretty. But she was not proud of her self and clothed herself in long baggy clothes. She wore A light brown binny, a long jacket, and baggy pants. She usually put book cds in a cd player that she always has on her. But before she headed downstairs she looked at the present her father gave her.
"Well I have the time I guess I'll open it now. I was late getting down and had him waiting for me." mumbled Makie as she picked up the small box and started to unwrap it. When all the paper and boxes were removed, a small black alarm clock stood in the palm of her hand. "An alerm clock?!" And next to the alerm was a little letter from her father. She picked it up in her sad shock and read it: 'This should help you avoid the everyday beatings... but then again you do seem to like being beaten up by an old woman. Love dad.'
"That bastard!" she screamed.
In response to this scream, her mother flew through the door with a flying jump kick to her face. "What was that I heard... ummm where are you?"
"Down here..."
"Oh well while you're down there grab your school bag and get going!" said her mother as she walked away.
To be continued... I have more to add but I kinda don't wanna continue at the moment, but I forgot to add what the problem and it was going to happen next so ya sorry. Charater intro. |
|
|
| School |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|04:48 pm] |
Today I just realized that shit schools going to start... Not only am I worried about going back for one, if not, the hardest years of high school, but football hell week starts tomorrow. I hope that this year everyone has alot more fun and hang out a bit more... and that our varisty wins two games or at least one. Right now I hope that all my friends are able to get their over the summer homework done before school, gods speed everyone.^^ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|10:57 am] |
Ok I'm gonna put everything on this one entry, incudling pictures if it will let me, so its going to be really really long:
Note: Everything writen here is from my travel journal with some exceptions. To save room and not repeat myself unlike I did in the journal: I really missed Sarah and everyone else back home! T-T
7-31
We arrived in Osaka airport to be quickly picked out of the crowd thanks to the help of our green uniforms. We meet Masa-sama, Daruma-kun, Hige-kun, and our driver. There is little communcation due to jet lag and shyness. We jump in the bus, we later gave it the name of "the magical bus that never needs to be filled up with gas" because it was always full. We then go to a rest stop for dinner, now you might be thinking 'WTF a rest stop?! Theres nothing there but vending machines!', well my good friends Japanese rest stops are godly. They have a full on store, resturant, vending machines(which are the real gods of Japan^^), and venders in the front. By now we started to talk to Masa-sama and Daruma, this was thanks to my father who started to communcate with Masa-sama and Danny, our moral officer, to Daruma-kun. Hige-kun was keeping to himself so we really didn't get to speak much to him that day, but I tried to speak to him in Japanese but failed to get replies. To our surprise our companions could speak pretty good english except for our driver. Earlier that morning we elected positions for the trip seeing how it was scout based. We had a President; Chris, Vice President; Bailey, Secetary; Chelsea, Communications; Me, and since we didn't have another position we made up the moral officer; Danny. After the dinner we went to the hotel. Each room is a single person room with the smallest bathroom and Shower. I swear I thought I was going to lose my head a few times when I went in.
8-1
I woke up and met Danny ouside in the hall. He informed me about the vending machines and took me to one. Unforunatly I had no money but the vending machines are amazing! There are drinks that shouldn't even be drinks. We had a weird chinese breakfast with a rice bun. Sorry but I think the food was one of the most interesting things... We got into our magically bus with a guide to head into Nara. On the way through Nara we came across a park dedicated to deer and they looked pretty kwel. We then got off at a really big temple and walked around. It was really pretty there and the weather wasn't to bad either just humid. We then walked across the street where some deer were. We thought nothing of them but cute little animals so we tried to pet them... They had no interest in being pet and wanted food. So Masa-sama bought deer cookies for us... That was ugly. The deers turn deadly and started to attack us and eat anything we held including our maps. We had to run from them when we ran out of ammuntion... cookies. Unforunatly weran into more but luckly we didn't invoke their rath. We got to the massive temple named Todai-Ji Temple, it has or so I think the biggest Buddha in all of Japan in it and there is also the hole in the pillar the size of the Buddha's nostril. They say that if you can fit through the hole then you'll have good luck for that year or something like that... So we forced Chris through it... he made it and then Chelsea and then Higa-kun tried... got stuck Xp we had to push him through, it was hilirous. Then we took a rest and there my brother tackled a deer by accendent. This happened because of another deer eating an ice cream sign distracted my brother and he turned right into a deer. Xp Then we were taken to the tour guide's friend's house for lunch. It was a very very special meal or so says Masa-sama, it was really kwel looking to. The sushi was pink in the middle and green on the outside. then small individual ones with just one color. I can't even explain the rest of the stuff. It was purely amazing. And if that wasn't enough our host gave us these beautiful masks that were pretty rare to be seen in a set. She gave us the entire set to send back to the US. We felt so bad when we couldn't give her anything back for her kindness. After this shock we load up in the bus and headed to Kyoto. Here we visited a famous temple with a massive Tori about half the size of the impire state building. At the temples gate we ran into three college schoolgirls. Here we started to mess around with Daruma-kun who was asking the guys which school girl we liked. When everyone picked the same one Daruma-kun felt kinda embrassed and then my father over heard and asked them if he could take a picture with them. But instead of him we all tried to force Daruma-kun in but he refused and hid so Danny jumped in. After the picture was taken Daruma-kun became really depressed. So to cheer him up Danny came up with the joke "Daruma room" this made him laugh and lightened him up. We then went to the hotel in Kyoto. This one was the traditional futon and straw flooring.
8-2
We had to wake up way to early this morning for a Buddhist service in the temple across from the hotel. We had to sit seiza style for about an hour. That was really painful, but we distracted ourselves from the pain but pounding on a small drum infront of us. Then we got front row seats to watch the real ceromony in the main temple. Lucky for us this time we got chairs.Xp Then we went to the golden povilion and saw a solo turtle in the middle of a hungery swarm of karp. Chris was trying to save it but couldn't reach it but lucky the karp weren't after him. The entire temple was made of gold except for the bottom for some odd reason. Then we went to the lake near by to spot a water snake... more good luck I guess. Then my father decided to make up his own catch phrase "Hello... Welcome to Japan" to say to anyone anywhere. After this we headed to the movie park where they shoot nija and samurai movies and messed around there for a bit. Then we went to a kimono store because of the kimono show that our guide wanted to show us. Man, kimonos are expensive! The same goes for yukatas, Chelsea tried to get my dad to let her get one ,a yukata, but he said no so I didn't bother to ask him if I could get one for Sarah. -_-" Curse his nazistism. Then we a convaor belt sushi place, that was pretty kwel. We all ate so much that the plates were like the twin towers. Then we went to the last hotel that we stayed in before the boyscout Jamboree. Here I was able to do a little e-mail... but it might have been ackward to have sent mail and then not replying to anything for 8 days...
8-3
This morning I woke up late and had a light japanese style breakfast. We got on the bus to head to the Jambo which was a very long drive so not much happened. When we arrived we were split into different troops. Since there were only 4 scouts from our crew we were split up into groups of two Chris with me and Chelsea with Bailey. We were introduced to our troops and were mobed because we were Americans. We were given gifts, asked to take pictures with them, and traded our patches for their random stuff. When we were asked to take pictures it felt like the anime expo so we messed around and did different poses each time. Xp Chris and I felt really bad when it came time to set up the tents becasue they had us sit down and watch. Finally we got up and forced them to let us help. To my surprise the ground was crawling with spiders. Since I'm allergic to their bite I was kinda freaking out but shhhh. Then that night was the opening ceromony. It was pretty kwel but a bit boring.
8-4
This morning I woke up at 5 and took a freezing cold shower. Now the showers at the Jambo site are tarp walls with wooden frame work. They have hoses instead of a shower head and the water is only one temp... freezing cold. I was moved to another patrol and was issued a translater. We were asked to follow our patrols to events for the Jambo... Chris bailed out on his patrol many times so he didn't connect with them. I decided to stick with them to see what they were going to be doing. It was pretty fun accually and since I was with them I was able to patch trade alot. They even explained to the other japanese scouts that I was an American and that there were only four scouts with our patches. Oh right I should explain patch trading... well for scouts shoulder patchs are trading cards but alot more fun looking. There are many different designs and styles of patches. Ours of course were anime style which as far as I can tell is unheard of in the boyscouting community. This makes our patches even rarer and that they are for a specific event as well. My patrol went over to the international exhibat and we ran into a few Russian girls. My mom told me that they spoke really good english so I started to talk to them. Well it just so happens that only one of them can speak really good english and that was a boy back at my subcamp's HQ and the girls couldn't speak any english at all. But I was able to get a trade in, two of my patchs for a Russian T shirt.
8-5
Again this morning a cold shower-_-" My translater is a first year in high school and asked me to teach the other scouts some english. I said I'll try and explained that I wanted to become an english teacher in Japan anyways. He thanked me and said that he would help me. I've made four really good friends besides my translater. Tanaka-kun; he likes to challenge me to sumo matches and can speak a small amount of english, Ryuu-kun; he is my trading buddy and is one of the youngest kids in the troop but is a riot, Jar Jar; this was my leader of the troop who jokes around a bit to much and hits himself quite a bit, and Maki-chan; she is a bit shy but loves to tease Ryuu-kun and pulls some pranks on him. These were my buddies and we had a lot of fun.^^ I finally started teaching english at lunch and explained to everyone that I was able to read and understand Japanese and that I was in my second year of japanese class. They were quick to start writing questions and asking me to translate to english and answer them in japanese. I still have to folde rof which they wrote on. Lucky for me the questions were first year questions. They were utterly amazed and started to talk to me alot more. By the end of the day most of them had learned enough english to communicate with me about simple matters. I felt really good about myself then and wished I could teach them everything else there is to know about english. But first I need to learn more japanese and more english myself.-_-" Tonight was the grand arena show and the prince of Japan came and gave a speech. other than that it was another boring show. -_-"
8-6
Same thing as every morning... Todays event was a time waster. The trading was slow to -_-" Chris and Danny came back at lunch with japanese scout backpack bags. I want one!@_@ Dad came over today and told me about him meeting the prince yesterday and shaking his hand and saying "Welcome to Japan" to him. All I could say to him was that he was a complete idiot. This afternoon I didn't do the event so I sat on the beach and took some pictures of my patrol. After a bit I past out on the beach for an hour and the head to the wall to get some shade, which I failed to achive. Then an old man walked by so I said Kanichi wa to him and he came over and started to talk with me. Lucky for me I was able to understand most of the things he said and was about to answer him. Then he asked me which provance I was from in Japan. I looked at him and kinda laughed and he asked why I was laughing. I told him I was American and he just stared at me shocked. He then tried to use some english and asked where I was from in the US and how did I like his small town. Then he asked if I played any sports and when I told him I played football he couldn't get off the subject. He keep asking if it hurt when I got hit and I keep saying yes and no to him. finally my patrol came to my rescue and took me back to go trading. I got a bag!! I traded one of my scout uniforms for it! YATTA! Its from the Hokkaido region and its pretty old and is covered in old patches and cubby wubby patches. But I don't care I got one and I'm happy. It even has a handle unlike Chris or Danny's.
8-7
Today is the last full day at the Jambo. I'm going to trade my brains out! I have so many patches left but then again I've traded more then three fourths of them. I miss Sarah soo much! I wander how this are back home? Oh great we have a visitor and now all he wants to do is talk to Chris and me. I hate times like this when I'm the foreigner because everyone treats you so differently. I hate that. I just want to be treated like everyone else, equal. Thank god for my patrol they treat me like one of them, no different. I love these guys and they really know how to mess around to.^^ Our final event today was a short hike which I lead about twenty feet ahead of everyone else. Xp My legs are killing me though from all of the past injuries, its weird they never bothered me before why now? When we returned we got lunch and headed out to trade. I didn't get much done because we had to return to camp early to break it down. Then we went to the closing ceromony. There were two bands playing but other than that it was a boring ending. Then when we returned to camp they shot off fire works for fun.
8-8
Today we finished breaking down camp. I waved to every bus that past our camp site and seeing how we were next to the road that was a lot of buses. Then we went and took more pictures before we left. I got my hat signed by everyone in the troop. Then we departed for the longest bus ride of my life. We didn't arive in Kagawa till 1 in the morning.
8-9
I arrived at my homestay families house at 1:30 this morning. They name is the Fukudas. The son's name is Masahiro and he's pretty kwel he has a 19 year old sister but I forgot her name. -_-" They took me a festival center where they stored their festival Chosa. Its a massive drum holder that is carried around by a hundred men and lefted. Each city has a happi or a traditional japanese samurai shirt. Then we went to the beach. It was really peaceful there and it was really pretty. Then we returned to their house for a venturing meeting which ended up to be a get together with Masa-sama and the chairman of the crew. Masahiro then had two of his friends over and I ended up playing magic the gathering with them... luckly I memerized the cards because they were all in japanese. Then we watched Cormatie High School the movie which real people not anime. It was hilierous. Then Mrs. Fukuda brought in a make it your self sushi dinner. This was the highlight of the day. Instead of enjoying our food we had a massive washabi eating contest... I won. Everytime they ate some they went running to the sink and drowned themselves in water. I just sat there and smiled. It wasn't that hot accually and they poured in half of the washabi container into the soysauce. Then Papa-chan asked who I was and I told him that I was a god and he laughed. After this contest we played with fireworks which was every entertaining. Then night.
8-10
Today we went to Hiroshima as a crew and with our host families. It was a harsh reality check and it was really heart striking. We came out almost at crying. I couldn't believe we accually did something like that. Then we went to one of the most beautiful places in Japan a temple with a tori in the sea. It really was one of the most beautiful places I've been. Then we returned back in Kagawa and went to ShabuShabu and a barbique dinner. After this we went to Karaoke because they found out that I liked japanese music and that I did Karaoke with my friends. Well this Karaoke scores you and I got 80s while everyone else got 90s -_-" then again I was never really good at Karaoke, no voice.
8-11
Last day of homestays and I presented my gift to them. They seemed please by it. They wanted to take me shoping so we went but I didn't buy anything... I was waiting for Tokyo. Then I got to make my own udon noodles. It was fun and tasty. Xp Then I packed up and while I was packing I recieve a gift from the family. They gave me some Japanese music cds, a japanese magic the gathering deck, some goodies, and a picture book of everything we did. Then we went to the good bye party. Here my Jambo troop came to see me off. We started messing around and burning each other with the fire of the barbique. Then it started to rain. The only time it rains it has to be on the day we have a party. Then we loaded up to go to the bus for Tokyo. At the bus stop everyone from our troop came to see us off. It was really touching to see everyone one last time. Then we got on a bus ride that turned into the longest night ever.
8-12
TOKYO!!!!!!!! We arrived in Tokyo today. Its just like what you'd expect Japan to be like, one massive city. We took the subway to the hotel to drop off our gear and got rid of our massive bags and sent them to the airport. Then we went to a temple and then to a museum. Everyone was way to tired to do any of that so after the museum we returned to the hotel to sleep. We didn't want to return because the next place we were going to go was the electionic city where all of our omiyage was to be found. Finally at 5 we went to the electronic city. We only got to go to one store and more than half of it was porn so I wasn't able to find one omiyage for anyone. Then we returned to the hotel... empty handed.
8-13
Mt. Fuji day... Not much besides beating everyone to the rest point by 2 hours. We got two hours of sleep and then had to continue to the top. I only made it to the next station and got a sever asmaha attack and couldn't breathe. They gave me a shot and hoped I would live. After an hour I was able to breathe again and reutrned to the rest stop to wait til morning.
8-14
Two hours later we woke up to see the sun raise and headed down the mountain. Here Danny, Baily, Toshi-sama, and I waited for my family and the second Toshi to return from the mountain top. After we loaded into the bus we went to a hotspring. Here I lost my vision for the rest of my life. I hate going into japanese hotsprings with other guys. Danny, Chris, and I decide to do it American style, boxers yay. We were the only ones and second Toshi tried to tell us that we weren't suppose to go in like that but we laughed at him and walked away. We didn't stay in there long and when we got back to the dressing room we ran into three little girls. We all said to each other that that was wrong and Chris and I said thank god Jeff wasn't here.
8-15
Last full day in Japan. We got on to a train for Nikko. Nikko was beautiful but I was worried about home and how things were and if everything was ok. I ended up straving til dinner and not able to pay attention to the enviroment around me. All I remember was my dad facing off with a pissed off monkey from the van. Then returning to Tokyo to get ready for home the next day. Then we headed back to the electronic city one last time and we had one hour. I looked everywhere from the omiyage and finally at the end of the hour I found it. I almost got a heart attack thanks to that... you guys asked for the hardest thing to find! o.0
8-16
This morning we went to the American embassy to see the embassitor. Other than that we tried getting through customs in one piece. This morning I decided to buy a bunch of food for you guys and had to get it all checked through by customs. Then the long flight back and then fighting through American customs with the food again.-_-" Then we returned to a destroied house and that was the end of the trip^^
Note: I love Japanese vending machines they have everything you need but food Xp only drinks.... melon for the win! |
|
|
| Take care |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|09:56 am] |
Well tomorrow I'm gone. If I haven't already said good bye well here it is then. See you guys later, I hope everything works out for everyone. I wish I could be around to help or support those who need it. But then again this maybe a good thing for others, my going. If this is so for some, I can only hope for their forgiveness later.
Take care my friends and enjoy what you have left of summer^^ |
|
|
| things that might help everyone |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|07:22 pm] |
Ok ya I just realized that you guys don't completely understand me. Meh bad, that was me not trusting in you guys sorry... But I sorta tend to be two people and I really hate one of them. I think Sarah, Christany, Alyx, and the others from the "hole" have met and now Ryley. Thats my agressive and rude side of me. I'm sorry to everyone who has met him and what he has done. then theres the regular brainless meXp. I prefer the brainless side of me.
The only time you will encounter my other self is if I'm playing or just finished playing a sport or fighting with someone. Or back then that was just me. So I'm sorry for what I have or might say or do if you encounter him... I'm not really myself at that time. Just give me some time and I'll come round.^^
Just thought you should all know |
|
|
| My collected thoughts |
[Jul. 25th, 2006|08:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scaried | ] |
With all thats happened I have to say that its been... stressful but educational. I think we all understand the stressful part, but I'm not quiet sure if everyone understands the educational part of this. I'm not saying everything is done but I'm speaking of what has happened. Whats done is done but what are we going to do now is the question. I know everything will work out fine, and this will bring everyone closer as friends.
Right as I was saying about the educational part. Its very simple actually... it comes right down to trust and friendship. Christany has proved that we all do not trust each other enough. Don't get me wrong, I know that we trust a few but not everyone. With out trust we can not receive support and help if need. But distrust in others makes the distrusted feel that they are not friends but acquaintances. Then the distrusted begin to assume and begin to make a situation that isn't true, and that assumption makes everything worst. I can understand why the others and myself were not included in the secret, but she began to assume that we wouldn't except her. And that is a bit disapointing seeing how many of use have one or two or friends like her and we do not treat them any different, or at least I don't. I know none of us will treat her any different then how we have, and I'm going to have to give her more credit seeing how she is, well so far,the only one who has admited of how she feels. I congratulate her, and I respect her even more for taking a risk and has been excepted. Congraulations Christany that takes guts.
Hmm with that said... Christany good luck with your next step and remember that you have your friends behind you, the ones from the beginning to the newly informed. Don't let anyone every get in your way and if they try simply push through knowing that your options and feelings are always right for you. Don't let others make choices for you or alter your goals. And look in life no matter how hard you try not to hurt someone you usually always end up doing so... So far for me anyhow I've hurt at least two people one I knew of and now I've hurt a close friend. To tell the truth, relationships, unless you're talking about the "one", are always going to hurt you and your partner in some shape or form. Pain and emotional stress is going to be in our lives till the end. We just need to adjust to it.
**Note: this is not a directed entry to one person but to everyone including myself**
Well I hope I'm not to only one who has learned something.
Call outs:
Christany- Again congrats and good luck! I'm on your side and Sarah's ^^
Ryley- This shouldn't be here but ya while I'm at it take in some but if you choose not to then I bid you good fortunes. Oh I do need to give you a proper apology... Ryley I hope you forgive my fullishness, immature, and idiotical actions and teasing. You of many people do not deserve it, I can understand if you can not and I even more sorry if that is the case. I will also apologise in person when I meet up with you. Sorry.
Alyx- Tim still loves you just hang in there and I'm sorry for bothering you and if you wish for me to not talk to you or be near you I offer you that option I hope it doesn't come to that because I am very fond of you and Tim.
Everyone take care and enjoy life to its fullest^^(I'm going to have to take my own advice Xp)-Kei |
|
|
| How the hell did this come to be? |
[Jul. 25th, 2006|08:06 am] |
Well shit I can't even start to say how I feel right now. I guess what they say is true... Curiousity killed the cat. Or in this case killed me. It started with the chain mail that I got from Christany who got from Allyson. I though sure why not do this... then it got to the bottom of Christany's message where it says list who will repost this. And the ppl looked right but then the describtions caught me. All of them but Alyx's seemed right. Under Alyx's it said "because she's my bi-buddy..." So for about an hour I came up with the conclusion that "bi" was some sort of acronem(sp) for something. But I couldn't quiet figure it out. Finally I decided to check her journal here, which she sent in the mail. By now I was wandering if this was the right thing to do and that I should just leave it at where it was. But nooo my curiousity got worst, so I went to search this journal and put in "bi" and wa la one entry with "bi" in it. It talked about how she didn't want anyone to know and that her friends may look at her with disgest. Now I really felt bad that I had found this. But yet I continued forward. I went to her recent entries to the one from last thursday. And what came next has utterly destroied me. Not the fact that she was bisexual or that she loved Sarah more then myself, but that I was the one hurting her. I just couldn't take it, and I still can't. I started to cry at the fact that I have hurt one of my closest friends without even knowing it.
So now the question is: What are you going to do about it Colin? Well I've come up with a plan though it is a selfish plan. But first I need to talk things out with Christany. Ah man I feel like a low life that has gone even further than nessecary. But in the end I am going to break up with Sarah for the sake of my friendship with Christany and the rest of my friends. This, I admit, is going to be the worst pain besides losing my grandfather I will ever feel. But thats life, stuff happens and you just have to do the best that you can. I just don't want to hurt Sarah at all, but I must do a little pain in order for my friends to gain.
This started off with me be hurt and then hurting someone else to hurting someone else to now me being hurt again. "What goes around comes around" I will never forgive myself to what I have and will do. But I hope one day I can be forgive by them, but if not I can understand and I will pay for it in anyway I can.
To Christany: I'm going to try and even that score with god for you... (attempt bring a smile to her face) Like in any game theres a cheat and thats what I am for you.
Sorry for the horribly spelled rant and the ranting period. All I have to say now is: I'm sorry that I betrayed you guys and I promise I won't do it again. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
taithen's journal
happy
sick
geeky
rushed
amused
worried